Thistle and Twigg Read online

  I knew what he was doing by making us leave right then. He said all that just as the coroner’s station wagon rolled up the road. I thought it was mighty considerate of him to let us go before they started fooling with the body.

  By the time we got inside Jane’s house, the day was already sweltering hot. Jane got a pitcher out of the refrigerator and poured us each a glass of iced tea.

  “Now about Cal,” I said. “I know what you’re thinking. You act like he’s some poor lost soul. You watch him, Jane. You don’t know him like I do.”

  “I got the impression you didn’t know him personally.”

  “Well, I know of him. Everybody in town does. He’s been causing trouble and raising Hades ever since he was a boy Been in jail so many times they nearly named the new jailhouse after him when it was built. He killed a man, you know.”

  Jane looked shocked. She set her glass down. “No, I didn’t,” she said. “How long was he in prison?”

  “Oh, only one night. And not prison, just the local lockup. Several witnesses in the bar where it happened said it was self-defense. Some guy had been drinking all night, went nuts, and Cal happened to be closest to him. One of the witnesses was a judge. Cal’s daddy was still alive at the time, too, so he had money to spring Cal. I believe that was in 1969.”

  “But it was self-defense, you say? He was completely cleared?”

  “Yes. From then on, he has stayed out here in the wilderness by himself.”

  “That’s sad.”

  “No, it’s not,” I said. “He chose to live like he does. His family had all the money and influence in the world. He could have had any one of a hundred different lives if he wanted. But no, he wants to live like a wild animal. A recluse is what he is. He’d rather die than sit down and have a human conversation with somebody.”

  “Actually,” Jane said, “I found him quite an amusing conversationalist. Interesting. Honest.”

  That was when she told me he showed up drunk on her doorstep in the middle of the night. I could not believe it. The man showed her exactly what a sorry sot he was and she calls him “amusing.” Jane really is a little out there sometimes. I knew right then I’d have to watch her back for her since she didn’t understand what kind of dog Cal was. It’s a good thing she’s got me to help her whenever she’s not thinking right.

  She did pretty well when Daniel questioned us again. We had a little test runthrough in a way, since Daniel had patrolmen take a statement from each of us at the same time, in separate rooms, before he came in and did the same thing again himself. When he was leaving and we were all standing on her front porch together, he asked her again about times, when were she and Cal at the range together the day before, what time did she last see Cal, when did she hear the shots in the night, and when did the two of us get to the range that morning. He didn’t ask her sneaky like Columbo either, just straight out so he was sure he had everything right in his head before he left. It was nigh on twelve o’clock before I was finally free to go.

  THE LAST THING SOME FOLKS MIGHT WANT TO DO AF-ter seeing a dead body is buy a gun. Well, I did. When the police finished questioning me, I went home, took a shower, and then puttered around the house awhile. Every time I walked through my living room, my eyes went straight to the table where my new Israeli bullets lay. I thought, What am I waiting fan a killer to come into my house? When I’d wish I’d bought a gun while I still had the chance?

  No, sir, I was going to be prepared. It was high time I showed a little gumption and started taking charge of my own defense. I smiled thinking how Jane’s knowing how to shoot so good had already been a positive influence on me.

  I wasn’t about to buy a gun from Harvel Wriggle after the way he talked smart to me that day I bought my bullets. He wasn’t the only game in town, not by a long shot. I put on some fresh makeup and headed downtown.

  I love the town square. Usually I take my time going around it, talking to folks, but it was already almost three o’clock in the afternoon and too hot to dillydally. I pulled my car into an angled space in front of the courthouse and walked a few doors down to Alton’s Gun Emporium. I’ve been friends with Alton for years because he was my husband’s cousin. I was glad to throw a little business his way.

  A bell jingled when I opened the shop door.

  “Hey Phoebe,” Alton said. “I’ll be right with you.”

  Alton looked like he always did, smiling no matter what and his bony arms hanging out of some ridiculous polyester bowling shirt.

  I said hey and right then I realized who the customer at the counter was. I patted my hair up and bit my lips to make them redder as I walked closer to the handsomest man in four counties, Jack Blaylock. He hosts the local hunting and fishing show on the public TV station every Saturday night and has even been a guest expert on several cable programs on tracking game through the woods.

  I winked at him. “Why, my stars, Alton, I had no idea you catered to celebrities. Mister Blaylock, I’m Phoebe Twigg. I see you on TV all the time, although I’m not a fish and wildlife enthusiast such as yourself.”

  He nodded at me and said, “Ma’am.”

  His black hair had hardly any gray in it, even though I knew he must be in his sixties like me. He was handsome enough to be one of those smoking cowboys in the cigarette ads.

  We got to talking and it came out that Alton and I were related by marriage. I said to Jack, “That’s right. Alton here is my late husband’s double first cousin.”

  Jack Blaylock nodded like he understood. “What exactly is a double first cousin?” he said with a sexy laugh. His deep voice and his long eyelashes made my knees go a little quivery.

  “Alton here and my late husband, Ronald, were first cousins on both sides of the family. Their mamas were sisters, who married brothers. In other words, Alton’s mama was Noreen Shelton and her sister, Nelda, was my late husband Ronald’s mama. Noreen married Bill Twigg and Nelda married his brother, Lonnie, which makes Alton and Ronald cousins, twice. Ronald, my late husband. Who passed away years ago.”

  “I see,” Jack said, while he gave me the once over.

  “Now, y’all don’t pay any attention to me. Go right ahead with what you’re doing because I want to listen and see if I can learn something while I browse.”

  I thought how glad I was I had on my dangling amethyst earrings. They look good with the lavender pant set I had on. Always look your best, that’s what I say You never know who you’ll run into.

  “Why would a pretty thing like you need to know about guns?” Jack took a pistol from Alton and clicked it open where the empty bullet holder fell out the handle.

  I gave Jack’s arm a little slap. “After what I’ve been through today with police interrogation and dead bodies? What, y’all haven’t heard about it yet?”

  They both shook their heads and said, “What happened?” at the same time.

  “Well,” I said. I thought a second, took a deep breath, and began. “It all started yesterday about noon. I went in to Wriggle’s to buy my brother a tackle box …”

  I gave them the whole story, all the way to me coming into Alton’s store. “And that’s why I need me a gun.”

  Alton leaned down and hung his arms over the counter, steadily shaking his head at me. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”

  “And why not?” I asked. “Why shouldn’t I get one?”

  “Well, Phoebe, I don’t really know how to say this, but you’ve been known to be a mite clumsy at times.”

  I put my hands on my hips and counted to five. “Will you never forget that doggone wedding cake?” I said. I’d had a small accident at Alton’s oldest boy’s wedding over ten years ago. Ronald was still alive then. We got up to dance and were close to the refreshments table at the reception. Somebody had dropped an ice cube on the floor and hadn’t picked it up. I stepped on it with my heel and my feet went flying out from under me. Naturally I tried to grab hold of something to break the fall. The nearest thing was the cake table. I
t wasn’t my fault the caterers had set the wedding cake so close to the edge. Plus, if it hadn’t been one of those fancy five-tiered ones, which are very unsteady, with the fountain spurting out sparkling grape juice at the top, it wouldn’t have collapsed and got stomped on, and the band wouldn’t have got soaked when the grape juice tube came loose, spraying in all directions so nobody could catch it.

  ‘Then there was that other time,” Alton said. “Remember when our cousin Glendell caught that possum …”

  “Don’t even finish that lie, Alton Twigg. I was not aiming at him with that popgun. He ran straight across that clothesline and right in front of me and you know it.”

  “And then there was that time with the truckload of watermelons at the fireworks shack…”

  “Will you hush?”

  “Okay, okay. Seriously, now, no offense, Phoebe,” Alton said. “And it’s nothing personal, but it’s not ladylike for women to have guns.” He stood there, shaking his head back and forth. “It just don’t look right.”

  “That dead body didn’t look right either,” I said. “I daresay he’d be walking right now if he’d had a gun on him. Besides, I don’t have a big strong man at home to protect me.” I flashed a quick sideways look at Jack.

  Alton started in, trying to talk me out of it. Jack was on my side. “Maybe the little lady is right,” he said. “It doesn’t hurt to be ready just in case. It’s a different world nowadays.”

  “Thank you for that vote of confidence.”

  Alton still shook his head. “The world may be different but Tul-lulah ain’t. It’s safe as can be here. Just because somebody got shot on the Prewitt place doesn’t mean a thing. We all know how Cal is. Hey you know, I heard he sold some of his land to some contractors in Birmingham who build big shopping malls. They could build a mighty big one out there. Wouldn’t that be something?”

  “I heard that, too,” Jack said. “Only I heard it was going to be an industrial complex with a small airstrip for Ag pilots.”

  “There’s room for all of them out there,” Alton said.

  A shopping mall? I’d love that. Then I wouldn’t have to drive out of town to get pretty clothes and things for my house. Dreaming about spending money on home interiors wasn’t helping me at the moment though. I rapped my knuckles on the glass counter to get the men’s attention.

  “Look here, I’m buying me a gun today, whether you like it or not, Alton. Don’t make me go down the road and get one from Wriggle’s.”

  I took my box of Israeli bullets out of my purse and slapped it down on the counter. “Now. It has to be something that these will fit in,” I said.

  Alton and Jack looked at each other funny but I acted like I didn’t notice. They could make fun of me all they wanted to, I didn’t care.

  Would you believe, in that whole store, Alton didn’t have a single gun those would work in? At least, that’s what he told me. I wasn’t so sure I believed him.

  “These are for a real big gun, like a hunting gun. That’s not what you want. You need one of these here smaller ones.”

  My lips pursed into a tight line. I do like that when I’m trying hard to keep the wrong words from spilling out. What I do is, I let myself think whatever ugly words I want to and then push them out my ears. I play like they float out and evaporate in the air. Then I feel better without cussing somebody out.

  “I know what I want, Alton. One of those little peashooters would only make a bad guy laugh at me before he robs and murders me. It’s something my own bullets will fit in, or nothing.”

  Alton snapped his fingers. “Hey, I just thought of something. You know what you ought to do? Sign up for Jack’s safety classes.”

  “Classes?”

  Jack cleared his throat and ran a finger over each side of his moustache. “What I do, Phoebe, is teach folks, just like yourself, how to handle firearms safely in a one-day workshop. There’s a little on self-defense, but mostly I concentrate on how to load, shoot, and clean your gun. If you’re interested, I believe I could get you in this next class. But…”

  “Oh, I’d love to! Count me in!” I said. “But what?”

  “It’s strictly for handguns. So you’d need to get you a small one. And the class is tomorrow.”

  I thought about it a second and realized there was no law against me having more than one gun. I could get me a big one some other time. But I wasn’t going to miss out on special attention from Mr. Jack Blaylock, local celebrity and handsome stud.

  “In that case, y’all fix me up. I’ll do it.”

  Jack helped me pick out one that fit my hand just right called a CZ-75. It was fairly hefty and the first thing I’ve ever owned that was made in Czechoslovakia. He told me a few more specifics about the all-day class and gave me directions to the shooting range.

  When Jack left, the little bell on the door jingled again. He touched the front of his hat and smiled at me.

  As soon as the door closed, I said, “Is he married?”

  “I believe he is,” Alton said.

  “He wasn’t wearing a ring.”

  “And I hear she’s real mean. Watch yourself.”

  “Oh, don’t be silly. I’m just curious,” I said, although the truth was I was already flipping through my closet in my mind to pick out the prettiest outfit to wear the next day.

  eleven

  Jane Has Company

  After we found the body, Phoebe and I waited at my house until the police returned to ask us a few more questions. Most were the same ones they’d asked before but we both obliged. Once done, Phoebe had errands to run, so I was alone with my thoughts.

  What a morning it had been. I gathered clean clothes and headed to the bath for a nice shower. I bent to pick up my house slippers from the closet floor, and when I stood again, I noticed my grandmother’s table was not where I put it.

  It was all I had of hers, a spindly, lightweight thing with one pedestal leg and a top that could be folded flat against the wall. I’d positioned the table carefully to hide a small area of torn wallpaper that at the moment I could see clearly. Curious, I thought, that the table now stood several inches farther along the wall.

  The floors here are old, I said to myself, and uneven. Of course such a light object might not stay put in certain spots, particularly one with an old, worn handmade base. The path between the table and my bed was narrow, and most likely I brushed the table when I passed causing it to jiggle out of place.

  There was one problem with that theory I didn’t remember walking past it, not since I first set it there. And if I had done, going from bed to closet, the table would have moved in the opposite direction and closer to the wall, not farther from it. I carried on to the bathroom with only a brief hesitance and the smallest backward glance.

  The rest of the day was uneventful, other than the continuation of my unpacking into the night. I went to bed worried as there had been no word from Cal.

  Next morning, I went through my rituals of stretches, ventured a bit farther on my walk, and came home again for a calming set of Tai Chi. I was quite pleased with myself for I’d incorporated a bit of running into my walk that came much easier than the day before.

  Once clean and refreshed, I sat on the porch looking out over the meadow. I suppose I was looking for Cal. I couldn’t believe he had murdered that young man then left him to lie in the dirt. But guilty or not, he must return and talk to the police soon. I tried to keep another worry at bay, that Cal had also been shot and lay somewhere undiscovered.

  I had no choice but to tell the police about Cal agreeing to sell me his land. I wasn’t keen on it, as I considered it no one’s business but ours. Also, I feared it might implicate Cal further, perhaps making the police think he had fled since he would soon have no land ties here.

  This was preposterous, of course. Cal would never leave his land. That was the whole point of our arrangement. He wanted to die there. Running away did not fit into his plan.

  Until more evidence surfaced to clear
him, I found myself wishing he might stay hidden for a few days. If not, I prayed he would come to me. I couldn’t do much for him except be a friend. That was something he seemed in short supply of here. A poor man with a criminal record and a bad reputation makes an easy target for false accusations, particularly in a small town. This accusation could prove too much for poor Cal in light of his bad health.

  I returned inside but left the door open and the screen locked to keep an eye and an ear out for police activity should Cal return.

  I began to mull over the possibilities of our proposed land deal as I fussed with rearranging the living room furniture. I was of two minds about it all. For a while, I told myself nothing had changed. The police might find evidence very soon that exonerated Cal. Then I convinced myself he was guilty, would be convicted, and the land would be tied up until his death in prison. What would happen then? With no heirs, the land might be sold by the state and developed, and I would have new neighbors. Many, many new neighbors. Worse, it would mean the death of a beautiful tract of nature, an irretrievable loss.

  I stepped over to the front windows. A single police cruiser remained, parked in the shade of the pines that line the entrance to the refuge. Of course, they would be watching for Cal. Perhaps they were also watching me. Dismissing the thought as melodramatic, I continued straightening and unpacking with the uneasy feeling of being in a cage.

  Many more questions surfaced concerning wills and land. I considered calling the lawyer who had helped in settling the sale of my house. His office was located on the square downtown. He was such a nice fellow, I was sure he’d be happy to answer any questions about state laws and the like. However, inquiries to a native Tullulian might not be wise at this stage, I thought.

  A sudden loud noise at the back porch startled me. It sounded like a box fell over and hit the back wall. My first thought was of the squirrel visitor that had left me acorns in the night. My second thought was of the huge snake. I found that my eyes went immediately to the floor where it had slithered its way across the threshold.